The sure-to-be-awful G.I. Joe movie opens this week and it got us to thinking about how ambiguously gay several of our favorite childhood characters were. These six in particular.

Gung Ho

The ex-marine with a porn stache that just won’t quit.

Wild Bill

Because every team of manly men needs a slack jawed cowboy type.

Bazooka

One part missile specialist, one part Tom Selleck impersonator.

Sgt. Slaughter

There’s a good chance the real life Sgt. Slaughter actually was a member of the Village People.

Roadblock

Deep down all he ever wanted was to become a gourmet chef. Pretty much sums it up.

Shipwreck

Arguably the most ambiguously gay of all the Joes. His parrot’s name is Polly, in case you forgot.

Wow. Knowing really is half the battle.

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