12 Program Descriptions That Prove Comcast Doesn’t Drug Test

By any chance is 1,000 Convicts a 70′s porn?

By any chance is 1,000 Convicts a 70′s porn?

We can only hope. Bet the Comcast R rated version is only like 30 minutes long b/c they cut out all the 70′s style boning.

We can only hope. Bet the Comcast R rated version is only like 30 minutes long b/c they cut out all the 70′s style boning.

“Dagmar’s Hot Pants” probably also falls in that category.

“Dagmar’s Hot Pants” probably also falls in that category.

LOL! 12 Program Descriptions That Prove Comcast Doesn’t Drug Test http://is.gd/5MnOR

actually its tv guide that writes that. the cable companies have nothing to do with the program info

actually its tv guide that writes that. the cable companies have nothing to do with the program info

Actually, Kevin, you’re wrong. I used to work for Cox Communications and my job was to write in the description of the show, we usually just copied it from IMDB or the shows website, or just did a quick summary.

If you made a mistake, you were written up, after 3 mistakes you’re fired, simple.

Actually, Kevin, you’re wrong. I used to work for Cox Communications and my job was to write in the description of the show, we usually just copied it from IMDB or the shows website, or just did a quick summary.

If you made a mistake, you were written up, after 3 mistakes you’re fired, simple.

John w/ the Comcast facts FTW.

John w/ the Comcast facts FTW.

12 Program Descriptions That Prove Comcast Doesn't Drug Test – http://su.pr/1CVHTp

All those descriptions are from the same OnDemand provider, FearNet. They’ve always written pretty funny descriptions of even the most twisted horror films. The “Child’s Play” and “I Know Who Killed Me” descriptions are easily the best.

All those descriptions are from the same OnDemand provider, FearNet. They’ve always written pretty funny descriptions of even the most twisted horror films. The “Child’s Play” and “I Know Who Killed Me” descriptions are easily the best.

Isn’t fearnet the best?

Isn’t fearnet the best?

Actually, Josh, you’re wrong. I used to work for Comcast and my job was ensure the accuracy of the descriptions from TV Guide, FearNet (as Horror Fan pointed out), or whatever outside company provided them. Maybe Cox Communications did it differently, but a Comcast employee definitely doesn’t write these, only verifies them. Albeit, if the description was wrong, I would have to find a new synopsis of the plot; however, this rarely happened.

Actually, Josh, you’re wrong. I used to work for Comcast and my job was ensure the accuracy of the descriptions from TV Guide, FearNet (as Horror Fan pointed out), or whatever outside company provided them. Maybe Cox Communications did it differently, but a Comcast employee definitely doesn’t write these, only verifies them. Albeit, if the description was wrong, I would have to find a new synopsis of the plot; however, this rarely happened.

So then Tony, what’s to stop a Comcast employee from saying one was wrong, despite it being right, and filling in his or her own description?

So then Tony, what’s to stop a Comcast employee from saying one was wrong, despite it being right, and filling in his or her own description?

What a silly question, JD. What’s to keep me from picking up this computer monitor and smashing it into the guy next to me? I like having a job, and it’s not worth the potential repercussions.

What a silly question, JD. What’s to keep me from picking up this computer monitor and smashing it into the guy next to me? I like having a job, and it’s not worth the potential repercussions.

Not a silly question, Gregorivich. Those funny descriptions look like a fun “last day” prank.

~SlinkyScott

Not a silly question, Gregorivich. Those funny descriptions look like a fun “last day” prank.

~SlinkyScott

I love these. My favorite was for 976-EVIL 2:

A hot college coed is being stalked by her creepy rotting dean. Did we mention she’s hot?

The description was good, but the movie was pretty epic too.

I love these. My favorite was for 976-EVIL 2:

A hot college coed is being stalked by her creepy rotting dean. Did we mention she’s hot?

The description was good, but the movie was pretty epic too.

Most MSO (Multimedia Service Operators) like cable companies and satellite providers, get their ‘program guide data’ or ‘interactive program guide’ from outsourced third parties like TVGuide or TMS. These organisations collect data from broadcast networks and original content providers and can do things like condense episode data into variying levels of summaries. For example, the MSOs and their software vendors usually have character limits defined so that it can work within the screen limits of on-screen guide software, and can also set flags for the software to use to display icons (like how many star ratings, parental ratings, is it closed captioned, SAP info, etc). This information is usually provided daily and ingested by their application server driving the settop software. Note, this is different from EPG data as part of the PSIP data required under ATSC/54B standard for over-the-air digital broadcasting, which is usually just passed through to the plant when an MSO uses such broadcasting sources, and isn’t used for the on-screen guide your MSO’s settop will display. This specific data is only used by ATSC tuners and not necessarily your cable/satellite settop. Even though PSIP EPG data is in the MPEG stream, the data on the settop still comes from the third party via it’s own mechnisms and the EPG discriptors are typically ignored by the settop.

For on-demand content, usually the content provider the MSO has chosen (i.e. inDemand, etc) sends the summary data and etc as metadata packaged with the video content.

Large MSOs, with a more nationally-centralized model, can obviously afford the staff to either quality check this data or create it themselves, but most small to medium sized MSOs just blindly pass-through the data from the third party to the system, due to the enormous amount of daily data, and any issues with that information are just kept as the responsibility of the third party information provider.

So, when you hit your guide button, even though the information on the screen has your cable company’s logo on it, it’s most likely not theirs, but information they bought by license from another data source.

Most MSO (Multimedia Service Operators) like cable companies and satellite providers, get their ‘program guide data’ or ‘interactive program guide’ from outsourced third parties like TVGuide or TMS. These organisations collect data from broadcast networks and original content providers and can do things like condense episode data into variying levels of summaries. For example, the MSOs and their software vendors usually have character limits defined so that it can work within the screen limits of on-screen guide software, and can also set flags for the software to use to display icons (like how many star ratings, parental ratings, is it closed captioned, SAP info, etc). This information is usually provided daily and ingested by their application server driving the settop software. Note, this is different from EPG data as part of the PSIP data required under ATSC/54B standard for over-the-air digital broadcasting, which is usually just passed through to the plant when an MSO uses such broadcasting sources, and isn’t used for the on-screen guide your MSO’s settop will display. This specific data is only used by ATSC tuners and not necessarily your cable/satellite settop. Even though PSIP EPG data is in the MPEG stream, the data on the settop still comes from the third party via it’s own mechnisms and the EPG discriptors are typically ignored by the settop.

For on-demand content, usually the content provider the MSO has chosen (i.e. inDemand, etc) sends the summary data and etc as metadata packaged with the video content.

Large MSOs, with a more nationally-centralized model, can obviously afford the staff to either quality check this data or create it themselves, but most small to medium sized MSOs just blindly pass-through the data from the third party to the system, due to the enormous amount of daily data, and any issues with that information are just kept as the responsibility of the third party information provider.

So, when you hit your guide button, even though the information on the screen has your cable company’s logo on it, it’s most likely not theirs, but information they bought by license from another data source.

who gives a shit where it came from. Its funny as hell!!!!!!

who gives a shit where it came from. Its funny as hell!!!!!!

do you really need to be on drugs to write these?
coudlnt title have been something more along the lines of “12 descriptions that prove comcast has a sense of humour”??? like really.

do you really need to be on drugs to write these?
coudlnt title have been something more along the lines of “12 descriptions that prove comcast has a sense of humour”??? like really.

This doesn’t prove anything about drugs. It just show that somebody was having a good time.

This doesn’t prove anything about drugs. It just show that somebody was having a good time.

Me and my friends saw Hostel Pt. 2, when we read the description we laughed for about 30 min….it was late.

Me and my friends saw Hostel Pt. 2, when we read the description we laughed for about 30 min….it was late.

Me and my friends saw Hostel Pt. 2, when we read the description we laughed for about 30 min….it was late.

LOL! Route 666 had me laughing for a good 20 minutes straight. The stupidity just reminds me of Will Ferrel’s career!

LOL! Route 666 had me laughing for a good 20 minutes straight. The stupidity just reminds me of Will Ferrel’s career!

Actually everyone, your wrong. Because it is I, INFORMO!

That’s right I am the superhero who trolls the internet looking for people who might believe I’m an expert at something, never alone thanks to my trusted side-kick WIKI-BOY!

Besides I know who wrote these because my friend’s brother’s girlfriend said she knew someone who worked for Comcast and she said this is actually hackers who crack Comcast systems using super-special hacker shit like I.P. addresses and photoshop and… stuff.

Actually everyone, your wrong. Because it is I, INFORMO!

That’s right I am the superhero who trolls the internet looking for people who might believe I’m an expert at something, never alone thanks to my trusted side-kick WIKI-BOY!

Besides I know who wrote these because my friend’s brother’s girlfriend said she knew someone who worked for Comcast and she said this is actually hackers who crack Comcast systems using super-special hacker shit like I.P. addresses and photoshop and… stuff.

Actually everyone, your wrong. Because it is I, INFORMO!

That’s right I am the superhero who trolls the internet looking for people who might believe I’m an expert at something, never alone thanks to my trusted side-kick WIKI-BOY!

Besides I know who wrote these because my friend’s brother’s girlfriend said she knew someone who worked for Comcast and she said this is actually hackers who crack Comcast systems using super-special hacker shit like I.P. addresses and photoshop and… stuff.

Great, now I’ve that dumb ass song stuck in my head.

Informer
You know say daddy me snow me
I go blame
A licky boom-boom down

Thanks a lot numbnuts.

Great, now I’ve that dumb ass song stuck in my head.

Informer
You know say daddy me snow me
I go blame
A licky boom-boom down

Thanks a lot numbnuts.

Great, now I’ve that dumb ass song stuck in my head.

Informer
You know say daddy me snow me
I go blame
A licky boom-boom down

Thanks a lot numbnuts.

Hilarious

Hilarious

Hilarious

Actually those descriptions are deliberate; if you’ll notice all the flicks listed are horror movies, and the descriptions are FearNet’s descriptions. So I don’t think we can blame Comcast for that. Not to be a spoilsport.

Actually those descriptions are deliberate; if you’ll notice all the flicks listed are horror movies, and the descriptions are FearNet’s descriptions. So I don’t think we can blame Comcast for that. Not to be a spoilsport.

Actually those descriptions are deliberate; if you’ll notice all the flicks listed are horror movies, and the descriptions are FearNet’s descriptions. So I don’t think we can blame Comcast for that. Not to be a spoilsport.

Actually Tony, you’re wrong. I used to work for TV guide and we have never written any of these drugged out messages. It must be from all of you hippies over at comcast during one of your drug filled orgies.

Actually Tony, you’re wrong. I used to work for TV guide and we have never written any of these drugged out messages. It must be from all of you hippies over at comcast during one of your drug filled orgies.

This is what all of the shit on on-demand is like. It’s not regular cable. And also, you’ll notice it’s mostly the free section of on demand in the horror category.

This is what all of the shit on on-demand is like. It’s not regular cable. And also, you’ll notice it’s mostly the free section of on demand in the horror category.

Since when has uwe boll been a “cult favorite”. i would say he is the exact opposite, he has a cult following of the people who have actually noticed his movies who absolutley despise him and his shady exploitation of German tax law. The man is the absolute definition of a hack.
If you want to see funny compare comcasts descriptions of beverly hills cop ( a classic) with No Reservations ( a stock crappy romcom with catherine zeta jones) They call beverly hills cop boring and unfunny ( with a slight towards eddie murphy) and no reservations a delightful comedy starring the talented CZJ. What a load of crap.

Since when has uwe boll been a “cult favorite”. i would say he is the exact opposite, he has a cult following of the people who have actually noticed his movies who absolutley despise him and his shady exploitation of German tax law. The man is the absolute definition of a hack.
If you want to see funny compare comcasts descriptions of beverly hills cop ( a classic) with No Reservations ( a stock crappy romcom with catherine zeta jones) They call beverly hills cop boring and unfunny ( with a slight towards eddie murphy) and no reservations a delightful comedy starring the talented CZJ. What a load of crap.

Since when has uwe boll been a “cult favorite”. i would say he is the exact opposite, he has a cult following of the people who have actually noticed his movies who absolutley despise him and his shady exploitation of German tax law. The man is the absolute definition of a hack.
If you want to see funny compare comcasts descriptions of beverly hills cop ( a classic) with No Reservations ( a stock crappy romcom with catherine zeta jones) They call beverly hills cop boring and unfunny ( with a slight towards eddie murphy) and no reservations a delightful comedy starring the talented CZJ. What a load of crap.

Very amusing! Thanks for sharing :)

Very amusing! Thanks for sharing :)

Very amusing! Thanks for sharing :)

Pics look ‘shopped.

Pics look ‘shopped.

Well I guess the only way to get people to watch these shitty movies is to get them stoned first.

Well I guess the only way to get people to watch these shitty movies is to get them stoned first.

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These are all taken from the same television set at around the same time. Clearly someone hacked into their cable box and wrote these to show up on their screen.

They’re like this on Fios also, When you go to the Free movies for “FearNet” I’m pretty sure they do it on purpose just to be funny.

this makes me want to have comcast, they should use this for adverts.

lol love the write up on childs play the serial killer would have rather had his soul in a rottweiler or some better killer thing then a doll. hilerious