Seeing that our Monday On The Couch segment significantly decreases our scope for the week, AND that so many shows are going to have shortened seasons this year, we’ve decided to morph it into a new segment: Your Weekly Prioritizer.

Going forward, on Monday afternoons we’ll be outlining what you should prioritize over all other things in the upcoming week. Of course, “Having Beers with Your Friends” and “Getting to Know Random Ladies with Low Self Esteem” should always top your priorities, so we won’t bother to list them on a weekly basis.

Here it is, Your Weekly Prioritizer:

Stuffing Your Face on Thanksgiving Day

The one thing you must do this Thursday is eat grotesque amounts of turkey and complex carbohydrates until you are physically ill. And then go back for more. Feel free to take a tip from your bulimic cousin halfway through and pull the trigger if necessary. But whatever you do, do not let yourself look back at Thanksgiving ‘07 and think about how you could have done more. You won’t be able to forgive yourself for a year.

And if you’re one of those miserably unfortunate bastards involved in a Thanksgiving exclusively featuring shitty food, try to sneak a massive bag of McDonald’s into a strip club or something. You deserve it.

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