I haven’t had time to analyze the Ashley Dupre situation till now, but I just read where this hooker already has two million downloads as of this morning on ITunes for some shitty song she wrote. Over 2 million. In 24 hours. And she posted another one today.

Isn’t there some old lady I can bang and make a mil overnight?

I’m telling you this whore is going to fucking make it rain big time. Here’s a list of just the conventional ways she’s going to cash in:

1) $1 million Playboy spread.

2) Couple hundred grand for a few “exclusive” interviews with the entertainment shows and the rags.

3) Couple hundred grand to a mil for a book deal.

4) $2 to 3 million in ITunes royalties.

By my rough estimates this hooker is going to bank between five and seven mil in the next year. Think about that. This is a girl who dropped out of fucking high school in New Jersey. And she’s going to basically be able to retire at age 23 for being an expensive slore who just happened to be the last chick Eliot Spitzer paid to bang.

Talk about luck.

Meanwhile, I’ve been banging skanks for years with nothing to show for it but questionable morals and the inability to maintain a functional relationship. What a fucking ripoff. Maybe me taking Ashley’s mom to Poundtown could somehow make me a part of this equation.

(more…)

So I was back in Jacksonville for Thanksgiving. On a positive note, I think I am turning the corner on my annual holiday disaster of getting plastered and then passing out somewhere weird in my parents’ house, sometimes clothed, with or without a female companion.

Anyway, I went out for a bit on Wednesday night with a few friends. Just like every other city across the country, in Jax the night before Thanksgiving is an annual event where everyone is back in town and goes out full force. I usually find this to be one of my favorite nights of the year.

Why?

There are always random slores from high school that show up. Most are seriously impressed when you tell them you live anywhere outside of J-Ville. This is because all of them still live in Jacksonville or the near vicinity, and their lives suck.

It’s also fun to laugh and point at all the chicks that have turned into fatties since the last time you saw them.

Anyway I digress.

(more…)