Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

Apparently Reggie Bush has always enjoyed partying with yuppie kids in Mexico. Who knew? [Uncoachable]

OK, quick. Make sure no one’s around that you don’t want to witness you sporting a crippling erection. Just your mom? Cool. Here’s the news: the guys that wrote “Iron Man” are teaming up to relaunch the “Highlander” series. (That thumping you hear is Steve Irony’s heart racing). [Ain’t It Cool]

Tom Brady gets Leo Dicaprio bumped from courtside at the Celtics game. The way we heard it Tom also slipped in a barb that he was pulling for Billy Zane in “Titanic”. [With Leather]

Six Degrees of Paris Hilton. Intriguing stuff. [Cracked]

Jason Taylor came in second on “Dancing with the Stars” last night. All in all, this may actually be a good thing. Think about what runner-up did for Justin Guarini’s career. [SportsbyBrooks]

It’s time for all you dudes with Bump and Grind on your Ipod to come to grips with reality: R. Kelly is done for. [WWTDD]

ESPN is about to launch their new TV remote. It kind of looks like a dildo from the future. Nice to see “Learning from History” is part of their way of doing business (see: ESPN Mobile). [Endgadget]

Belichick also at the Celtics game with a cougarish lady friend. Too. Many. Jokes. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

You can punch Jose Canseco in the face for a mere 5K! We know gas prices are kind of tough right now, but sometimes you have to treat yourself. [Deadspin]

Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

There are some serious tools on MySpace, and then there’s Ronnie Brasco. [Uncoachable]

Charles Barkley discussed quitting gambling with Ernie Johnson last night. Hope it works out as well as us quitting strip clubs (i.e. not well). (video) [Awful Announcing]

Teresa Noreen designed her MySpace page with her career in mind. [Hottest Girls of MySpace]

Top 7 Sports Meltdowns Caught on Tape. Jim Mora Sr. must have declined Gibbs12 an autograph at some point. (video) [Gibbs12]

Hottest Girlfriends of Boston No-Hit Pitchers. Both intriguing and relevant. [Busted Coverage]

Eli went to Disneyland. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Ultimate Chick Repeller, Part 3. These do not disappoint, if you’re into things that are both funny and disturbing that is. [Tasty Booze]

How did Indianapolis land the Super Bowl in 2012? Dennis Hopper, that’s how. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Kristen Bell is the kind of chick ass men everywhere dream about. [WWTDD]

Men’s Fitness names Tiger Woods ‘The Fittest Man in America’. We’d like to see you try walking 18 holes in slacks for four days straight. [FanHouse]

Reese Witherspoon is looking sloppy enough to up our odds of her being a Jake Gyllenhaal beard to 73%. [Hollywoodtuna]

Speaking of sloppy, Cynthia Nixon’s girlfriend is hot with like ten Ts. [Holy Taco]

How we never put the Lee Corso / Mel Brooks similarities together we don’t know. We’re glad someone did. [EDSBS]

Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

Laura Vandervoort in a bikini will make your Monday. [Hollywoodtuna]

This chick REALLY wants in this vending machine. [Bright Black Internet]

13 Rules for the Gym. Man do we hate the grunter. [Joe Sports Fan]

Jason Giambi is willing to resort to all new lows to bust his current slump. [Busted Coverage]

The new Steven Seagal vampire flick you’ve been praying for. [Film Drunk]

Speaking of aging acting stars, your obligatory Van Damme update. [WWTDD]

Girl gets busted for shoplifting and dude with camcorder heckles her. She brought it on herself. (video) [Holy Taco]

The Best Looking College Cheerleaders. A list that’s been begging to be assembled. [Mick Landers]

Did you know Jon Gruden was a ballboy for Indiana’s 75-76 undefeated basketball team? Weird. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

8 Child Prodigies So Amazing They’ll Ruin Your Day. [Cracked]

A “Red Dawn” remake may be in the works. Can’t we just let some works of art stand alone in their 80’s glory? [Ain’t It Cool]

Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

You probably guessed that Wes Welker partied the hardest. [Don Chavez]

This Tube Top Pilates video is pretty much like a normal pilates video, except way fucking better. Plan to spend some time with yourself after watching this one. (NSFW if your work is even moderately conservative). [Break.com]

The Vince Young photo you’ve almost 100% seen by now. All the gayness aside, was he at a Widespread concert or something? Who feels Young Jeezy that much? Drugs, you say? How dare you. [Busted Coverage]

5 Superhero Movie Scenes They’ll Never Let You See. Who knew Ant Man was such a pimp? [Cracked]

That Audrina chick from “The Hills” looks pretty damn good in a bikini. Nice to know she has something going for her, even if it is just the one thing. [On 205th]

The Jets’ below average quarterback battle is so ridiculously close the coaching staff is resorting to coin tosses to name the starting QB. Say it with us: J-E-T-S. Jets! Jets! Jets! [With Leather]

If you suffer from an irrational fear of clowns, this early years Ronald McDonald video is not going to help things. (video) [Gibbs12]

Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi are getting married. Score one for the good guys. [Holy Taco]

[Update: We were just notified that the Pilates link was actually another link to Vince Young shirtless. Now it’s fixed. Just our way of letting you know you’re gay.]

Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

The Seven Facial Expressions of Vikings’ Cheerleaders. One should be entitled the Tarvaris Jackson Is Really Our Quarterback? face. [Busted Coverage]

Charles Barkley owes the Wynn Casino 400K and they’re serious about collecting. Talk about when acting cool and tough goes bad. [With Leather]

The wives and girlfriends of MMA bring a porno hotness to the table not to be matched by any other sport. [On 205th]

The Walk of No Shame video. Who new AMP energy drink was funny in a ha ha sort of way? [Gibb12]

Janis G has a massive front court and loves dairy, which is kind of ironic. [Hottest Girls of MySpace]

First we’ve heard of the sex move called The Tony Danza. It’s pretty much just a gator smack with some dialogue, but hey, we’re down for all things Danza. [CO-ED]

Nikki Cox used to be killer hot then she married Jay Mohr and started feeding her collagen for breakfast every morning. [Hollywoodtuna]

Remember that time you thought Kimora Lee Simmons was hot? That was you coming out of the closet. [WWTDD]

Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

Did you have any idea Reggie Miller parties the hardest? No? Us either. At least this chick looks like she saw it coming. [Don Chavez]

So you thought Jonathan Papelbon was kind of awesome, then he started giving craps lessons to his Japanese teammates during batting practice and became really awesome. [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

6 Worst Movies Hollywood Almost Made. [Cracked]

Jonah Hill (of “Superbad” fame) is attempting to make a “21 Jump Street” movie. No word yet on Holly Robinson and/or Rodney Peete’s involvement. [Film Drunk]

Discovery of a deranged but sort of awesome website. Manbabies.com. [Holy Taco]

Stephen Colbert’s take on the O’Reilly meltdown is pretty money. Bonus cool points for the mustache in lieu of O’Reilly’s toupee. [Gawker]

The SI Swimsuit Issue Couples Curse is eerily insightful. Just the way we like it. [Your Face Is a Sports Blog via SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Topanga from “Boy Meets World” likes to party. Good for her. [Blog of Hilarity]

Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

The 7 Famous Facial Expressions of Kevin Youkilis. Dude was a pimp in grade school. [Busted Coverage]

We’ve always thought Kelly Brook was hot in a “not for everyone” sort of way. Well, this spread TOTALLY changes our mind on that. In other news, Billy Zane was spotted kicking his own ass last night. [Bright Black Internet]

Christian dating and the porn business were always meant to be in business together. [Wall Street Fighter]

The 6 Most Frequently Quoted Bullshit Statistics. [Cracked]

Thought Sarah Jessica Parker’s face was creepy? Check out her hands. Gross. [Holy Taco]

Loving the bible and posting raunchy pictures of yourself on the world wide web isn’t hypocritical, right? [Hottest Girls of MySpace]

This female Dodgers fan is hot with like fifteen Ts. [Joe Sports Fan]

Nothing say getting laid before the rest of your friends quite like shuttlecock (video) [With Leather]

Other renowned sports moms now hold Gloria James in high esteem after last night’s performance. [Epic Carnival]

“Hey, Stephon, how’s it going? I like those shoes of yours. Now get the fuck out of New York.”- Mike D’Antoni [SportsbyBrooks]

Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

The Six Most Gratuitously Cleavaged Women on TV. [Cracked]

27 year-old female cheerleading coach sentenced to six months for banging a male student. Man, and the best we ever did in high school was dry hump a lunch lady. [With Leather]

Jimmy Fallon is officially taking over for Conan O’Brien. And here we thought Jimmy was a big movie star after he hit gold with “Taxi”. [Gawker]

How Nikki Nova has managed to avoid the transition from soft core to hard core porn is beyond all of us. [Hottest Girls of MySpace]

For all you tech geeks early adopters out there, the new Blackberry looks pretty money. [Techcrunch]

T.O. to make an appearance on Flava Flav’s TV show. Can anyone say Primetime Emmy? [Awful Announcing]

If Norway can’t export big boobed blonde chicks, what can they export? [Bright Black Internet]

Your crippling case of Brett Favre withdrawal might not be as brutal as originally thought. Odds are he’s coming to a FOX Sunday morning near you! [SportsbyBrooks]

Jenn Sterger’s latest video release from the Indy 500 is not up to par. You know what that means? Yep. One step closer to Cinemax. [Busted Coverage]

Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

Say what you will about Elisabeth Hasselbeck being allowed to share her opinions via network television, there’s no denying her ranking pretty high as far as moms in bikinis go. [Hollywoodtuna]

Lakers’ Sasha Vujacic attacked by ancient cougar! (She may qualify for sabertooth status.) [Busted Coverage]

Another piece of license plate art. The people of Florida didn’t even see this one coming. [Gibbs12]

In case you haven’t heard, this year’s edition of HBO’s “Hard Knocks” is going to follow the Cowboys. The only question is: how are they going to find the storylines? [Yahoo Sports]

20 T-Shirts That Will Make Women Have Sex With You. We’re pretty sure you already own at least three of these. [Cracked]

Despite being Canadian, the newly crowned 2008 Playmate of the Year does not suck. [WWTDD]

Hard to believe, but the Papa John’s 23 cent pizza thing went over pretty well in Cleveland. And here we thought everyone in Cleveland ate organic. [With Leather]

Jeremy Piven and Pink reportedly got down on the dance floor recently. Who led? And if the ended up having sex, who banged who? Gross. [Page Six]

Kim Kardashian looking hot? Wonders of technology never cease to amaze. [On 205th]

A Gators’ football player got busted for using a dead chick’s credit card. Hey, a low APR is a low APR. [Losers With Socks]

Nice list of Unbreakable Modern Era Baseball Records. [Joe Sports Fan]

Eagles cheerleaders care about the environment. Man, being eco-friendly and the only hot chicks in Philly must be quite a task. [SportsbyBrooks]

Cedric Benson knows how to honor a mom on Mother’s Day. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Because you’ve got a serious thing for Asian chicks. [Hottest Girls of MySpace]

Today’s edition of what’s not lame around the world wide web:

An AWESOME compilation of pro athlete vanity plates. Mucho respecto to the guys at Food Court Lunch. [Food Court Lunch via With Leather]

A list after our own heart. 12 Ugliest Sitcom Moms. [Holy Taco]

Just when you thought your boy, Spencer Pratt, couldn’t dish out any more life-altering advise, he decides to go anal. [Gawker]

Another aspiring An actual porn star and her MySpace page. [Hottest Girls of MySpace]

The Bears cut Adam Archuleta, another step towards the extinction of the white safety. At least Arch has an OK wife to go home to (NSFW hint: Google “Jennifer Walcott”). [Yahoo Sports]

Top 20 Television Sports Pet Peeves. We didn’t see “FOX attempting to broadcast college football” on here, but have to assume it’s implied. [Epic Carnival]

Hilary Duff is making a serious front court play, and we’re all for it. Bravo, sweetheart, bravo. [On 205th]

Roger Clemens may have also taken the lumber to a 17 year-old Melons waitress (that’s right, a Hooters’ knock-off called “Melons”). Man, everything is just coming up Rocket lately, huh? [SbB]

Apparently Angelina Jolie is having twin daughters. So by our math that makes three girls with flawless physical genes due to be 18 by 2026. What a coincidence, that’s just about the time we plan on being ridiculously handsome and wealthy (we age well). [IDLYITW]

Of course, PETA plans to protest the Preakness. We’re thinking of starting our own charity dedicated to getting the members of PETA laid. [FanHouse]