In case you’re unfamiliar, Robin Meade is the ultra foxy CNN Headline News host of Morning Express with Robin Meade. You’d think we’d be more up to date on current events as much as we enjoy Robin’s work but every time we tune in we find ourselves unable to get past our desire to costar in the Morning Express with Robin Meade under a different format.

We have a ton of questions we want to ask her. Like, since she’s still in her thirties does she qualify as a cougar? And is she as excited about The Dark Knight as we are? And what are her thoughts on the NBA Draft? And does Wolf Blitzer resemble a penis as much in person as he does on television?

And CNN? That means she works out of Atlanta, right? Right? Interesting…

Robin’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 39. Cougary.

Figure: Enhanced by modern science.

How Many Hours of Headline News You’d Watch to Bang Her: 325.

Fantasy Career Ambition: Hosting Good Morning, America.

Realistic Career Expectation: Five more years of what she’s doing right now.

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All it takes to develop a case of the ragers for Anne Hathaway is coming to the conclusion she probably thinks she’s better than you, renting Havoc, and caving into watching Devil Wears Prada with some chick because you think the gesture might get you somewhere in the vicinity of third base. Anne won’t jump into your top ten or anything after you go about this, but we can pretty much guarantee that in some shape or form the phrase “asking for it” will cross your mind every time you see her going forward.

With Anne’s new comedy –which looks pretty decent as far as TV remakes go — Get Smart opening Friday coupled with the news that she’s finally ditched her Zach Braff look-a-like Italian real estate mogul boyfriend for less Euro pastures, this Wednesday morning seemed like the perfect Wednesday morning to subject her to some objectification. Enjoy.

Anne’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 25.

Height: Somewhere in the middle.

Figure: Deceptively solid.

How Many Times You’d Be Willing to Watch Brokeback to Bang Her: 3 1/2.

Fantasy Career Ambition: Multiple Academy Award winning actress.

Realistic Career Expectation: Multiple Golden Globe winning actress.

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Just about every time we’ve brought up Carrie Underwood on this site it has had something to do with Tony Romo, which, we suppose, says a lot about us. All it took was a glimpse at how cute/bonerific she looked playing softball the other day for us to realize just how much we’ve overlooked her — and her tremendous stems — on a regular basis.

Carrie, we apologize. Won’t happen again. And here’s a Hump Day tribute to prove it.

Carrie’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 25.

Height: Somewhere between 5′1″ and Chace Crawford.

Figure: Leggy.

Born In: Muskogee, Oklahoma. Also the place of birth of the gay dad from ‘The Brady Bunch’.

Resides In: Nashville.

Amount of Country Music You’d Be Willing to Take in to Bang Her: Alan Jackson’s entire catalog, a Wynonna Judd concert, and multiple trips to the Grand Ole Opry.

Fantasy Career Ambition: Becoming such a massive country star the public forgets she was a contestant on ‘American Idol’.

Realistic Career Expectation: Becoming such a massive country star the public forgets she was a contestant on ‘American Idol’ and that she fell for the “football is my life” line.

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Today’s installment should actually be titled “Natalie Gulbis and Her Awesome Rack”, but that would mean us objectifying Natalie and that sort of thing is in no way in the spirit of H Day.

Our friends over at Busted Coverage regularly bring Natalie (and her awesome rack) to our attention, and with sports interest beginning to wane with the onset of summer we felt it only appropriate to give you a reason to not change the channel during LPGA highlights.

Natalie’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 25.

Height: 5′9″ (the average height of the American male as JB likes to point out).

Figure: Athletic yet busty.

Born In: Sacramento.

Resides In: Vegas (loves Keno).

Amount of LPGA You’d Be Willing to Take in to Bang Her: A full tournament, including the practice round.

Fantasy Career Ambition: Winning several LPGA Majors followed by a gig as a network golf correspondent.

Realistic Career Expectation: Always being more successful than Michelle Wie.

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Realizing our readers spend more time watching reruns of ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ than they do watching any version of the news, we’d like to spend this Hump Day introducing Courtney Friel, a hard hitting female journalist the FOX News’ eye candy who was recently brought to our attention.

Before becoming a regular on FOX News in February, Courtney made a living looking hot in various roles while holding a microphone. And just like all well-respected journalists she occasionally posed for a lingerie spread or two. Several critics take issue with Courtney’s abilities as a newswoman, but these are probably the same people who can’t comprehend FOX News’ strong ratings. What they fail to recognize is that 99% of the population would rather watch some chick they want to bang reading from a teleprompter than some old dude with credentials.

Courtney’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 28.

Height: Somewhere right in the middle.

Figure: The broadcast news equivalent to an LA “10″.

Amount of FOX News You’d Be Willing to Watch to Bang Her: Four hours a day for a month, including the show with Greta Van Susteren. Hell, you’d bang Greta if it meant taking a run at Courtney.

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We realize 9 out of 10 NextRound readers are hardcore Women’s Tennis junkies, so please indulge us as we catch up the other 10% on all things Sharapova.

Sharapova: Russian for So hot right now.

She’s ranked #1 in the world thanks to the early retirement of Justine Henin, she’s about to enter the French Open (the only major she hasn’t won), and she can wing a football better than half the quarterbacks on scholarship at your alma mater (video below).

She’s also aging nicely, definitely looking less boyish and more womanly (probably why Maxim now thinks Danica Patrick is the hotter female athlete). Maria pretty much has attractiveness cornered in the tennis world (as long as Rafael Nadal is not in the equation, of course).

If you think about it, Sharapova is hands down the biggest benefactor from the Anna Kournikova experiment. Sure, you don’t have the urge to desecrate her quite as much as you did with Anna, but Anna set the bar so low from a tennis ability/Latin pop singer standpoint, Maria was set to succeed. Way to take advantage sweetheart.

Maria’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 21

Born In: Russia

Resides In: Bradenton, FL. Hometown of Team Cool & Tough’s very own Old Balls SMac. He once broke into Maria’s house just so he could say he took a dump in her bathroom.

Height: Probably taller than you flat-footed. Definitely taller than you in heels (she’d be wearing the heels, not you).

Figure: Toned.

Probability That She’s Better Than You at Everything: High.

How Far You’d Emasculate Yourself to Bang Her: Getting a WTA bumper sticker and pretending to be into A-Cups.

Famous For: Being good at tennis. Grunting without grossing you out. Not being scared to cash an endorsement check. Having her ass licked (figuratively, we think) by the mainstream media.

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We mentioned Kelly Brook in yesterday’s Daily Awesomeness and — in doing so — reminded ourselves of our pension for British chicks with huge boobs.

For those of you not familiar, Kelly is moderately famous in the UK and makes her living as a Model/Actress, which is code for “hot and talentless” in the business. We know from the summer we spent as an Abercrombie model.

Kelly’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 28

Height: Tall enough to seem vaguely threatening.

Figure: Shapely.

Amount of Debt You’d Readily Take on to Bang Her: 20K.

Famous For: Looking good in a bathing suit. Having an awesome rack. Being adored by T&A bloggers everywhere.

Places Besides the Internet Where You May Have Seen Her (But Probably Didn’t): WB’s “Smallville” (her super power was pulling off an American accent), her brief role in “The Italian Job” (you were busy trying to figure out if it’s gay to drive a Mini), or the pages of FHM (don’t admit to having a subscription).

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Since we’ve seemingly been consumed by “Gossip Girl” lately (here, here, and all 90 hours of Booth’s DVR) we thought it would be a good idea to spend this Hump Day objectifying one of the chicks from the show in order to once again reaffirm how ridiculously heterosexual we are.

Of course, it’s just our luck that the most humpable (and legal) chick on the show happens to have a dude’s first name. But whatever. We’re not gay, you are. We’d give Blake Lively a lift to Poundtown even if her name was Ralph.

Blake’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 20.

Height: Tall.

Figure: Gazelle-like.

Anatomy You’d Readily Give Up to Bang Her: Appendix.

Famous For: Being the star of “Gossip Girl”. Making the show slightly bearable for thousands of pervy married dudes everywhere who are forced to watch.

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As the Jason Taylor v. Bill Parcells news continues to heat up the more clips we’re seeing of Taylor douching it up on “Dancing With the Stars”, and hence, the more obvious it’s becoming to us that we really want to bang Taylor’s dancing partner (if you were anticipating “take up ballroom”, please leave immediately).

Pretty much all you need to know is: Her name’s Edyta, She’s Polish (heh, heh), She dances for a living, and She used to be partnered up with Joey Lawrence (Whoa!).

But for good measure we’ll elaborate even further…

Edyta’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 26. Most Polish chicks her age are well on their way to being grandmothers by now.

What She Does Besides Dance: Hocks workout videos (that also involve dancing) on her website. Her site also promotes voyeurism.

Marital Status: Married. But the dude’s also a dancer, so this may be one of those gay dude / someone needed a green card marriages.

Awesomest “Star” She’s Been Paired With: Cliff from “Cheers”, hands down. Joey Lawrence is a distant second.

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The Sitcom Bi-Laws demand that every show meet a certain eye candy prerequisite. Katrina Bowden fills just that void for “30 Rock”. She plays the biscuit intern who you can bank on getting a solid thirty seconds of camera time every episode. She also gets her very own set of lines every third episode or so, which, to her credit, she delivers impeccably while also rocking a super short skirt.

But despite Katrina’s part being rather small, her role on “30 Rock” is quite large. You see, without Katrina delivering the necessary dose of hotness each week, guys like us would get too distracted by Tina Fey’s lack of hotness to appreciate the comedy at hand. Katrina’s role is integral to our viewing pleasure. Why the Emmys don’t hand out an award for the work pretty ladies like her do is beyond us.

So, to show our own personal appreciation, we’ll be using this Wednesday morning to help everyone get to know her better.

Katrina’s Hump Day Bio

Age:19. We can safely say we had no idea she was this young when we started this segment. She was in middle school when we were in college. Weird.

Hometown: Wycoff, New Jersey. Loves the Shore. Loves Jager. Loves the Jets.

Fantasy Career Aspirations: Feature film star in the vein of Gwyneth Paltrow.

Realistic Career Expectations: Supporting roles in poorly conceived comedies. Joining the Off Broadway cast of “The Vagina Monologues”. Marrying some B actor she meets on the set of “30 Rock”.

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