Here’s the trailer to Role Models starring Paul Rudd and Stifler. It’s a comedy that has something to do with a couple of losers who get forced to spend time with kids. The trailer doesn’t come off as creepy as that reads.

What We Know:

• Paul Rudd is awesome.
• We could use a Minotaur and Vodka.
• We’d walk across the street to bang Elizabeth Banks.
• Stifler owns playing himself in movies.
• McLovin looks the part of a Larper.
• That Matchbox 20 song is catchy despite it being a song by Matchbox 20.

What We Can Guess:

• The black kid says a lot of hilarious quasi racist stuff.
• We won’t be sentenced to summer camp the next time we get community service.
• We’ll be saying, “She’s got some boobies on her,” more often going forward.

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The first trailer for the Quantum of Solace has hit the world wide web and being the Bond aficionados we are we’re compelled to treat it to it’s own JAMBIT session.

What We Know:

• QoS picks up pretty much exactly where Casino Royale left off.
• Everyone who matters and didn’t die in the previous film is back for this one, including the way underrated Jeffrey Wright.
• Bobsledding is the only manner of transportation the director decided not to use in an action scene.
• Daniel Craig in his prime would kick the shit out of every other Bond in their prime, sans Connery. And don’t give us any of that, “Timothy Dalton was a mean m-fer” jazz.
• Anyone who says they aren’t motivated by revenge is motivated by revenge. Classic denial technique.
• You deserve to take a bullet if you get shot by a guy hanging upside down.

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In this installment of JAMBIT we’re taking a look at the recently released trailer for Guy Ritchie’s new flick, RocknRolla.

Like everyone, we think Lock, Stock is awesome. But we also think Snatch is just as good. It’s after those two where Ritchie’s resume starts looking a little dicey. And by “dicey” we mean “inconceivably miserable“.

What We Know:

• Guy Ritchie is trying to get back to what he does best, and that’s definitely a good thing.
• Madonna is supposedly dumping Ritchie, and if true it’s the biggest favor she could ever do him.
• Gerard Butler could tell us to give meth a try and we’d probably do it.
• Tom Wilkinson makes everything better (see: Michael Clayton, Batman Begins, and John Adams).
• We’re incapable of pinpointing just how hot Thandie Newton is.
• Ludacris is a surprisingly solid actor, and we’re not just saying that because we like the I Got Hoes video so much.
• British people are funny.

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Here’s the red band trailer to ‘Wanted’. Steve Irony has been ridiculously bullshit it’s taken this long to get it on the site. Why? Well, it’s chocked full of absurd action, bullet bending, Angelina looking hot, and a protagonist under 5′10″. That’s why…

What We Know:

• James McAvoy is the Scottish Shia LaBeouf. He’s getting cast in all sorts of leading roles despite kind of being a little bitch.
• The job stuff at the beginning is a pretty blatant ‘Fight Club’/'Matrix’ ripoff, except, unlike Keanu, McAvoy’s got an excuse for his crappy American accent.
• Angelina is getting better with age.
• Morgan Freeman dropping a big m-fer out of nowhere is pretty much the only thing that makes this trailer red band. And we’re OK with it.
• Common is in fucking everything lately.
• The director is some relatively unknown Russian dude, which explains his affinity for bullets and back tats.
• Wesley Gibson is actually a Director of Manufacturing in the McAllen, Texas area.
• It was nice of them to throw in the sunroof clip at the end just so you know for certain everything about this flick will — in fact — be completely over the top ludicrous.

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In today’s edition of JAMBIT (just put that together, pretty proud of ourselves) we’ll be examining the new red band trailer for “Step Brothers”, starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. Our thoughts after the video. (NSFW Audio)

What We Know:

• The two stars share a real life man love for one another that appears to know no bounds (read: handjobs).
• Adam McKay, the director, is the same dude who directed ‘Anchorman’ and ‘Talledega Nights’, which means ‘Step Brothers’ probably won’t win any awards, but might contribute some new tremendously repeatable one-liners to the verbal arsenal of unoriginal white dudes across the country (i.e. “Milk was a bad choice” and “I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence”)
• Will Ferrell is reaching Adam Sandler levels of overexposure.
• Strategically placed f-bombs have the ability to turn a slightly funny movie into a pretty funny movie.
• Drum cymbals to the head and tuxes to an interview are a good time.
• We fucking love John Stamos references.

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Today we provide our knee-jerk thoughts to the trailer for “Street Kings” (the new Keanu Reeve’s cop flick opening tomorrow) and decide from there whether it’s going to be any good or not. Please keep in mind that we may classify something as “good” by either the conventional definition or for containing high levels of unintentional comedy. Let’s watch!

“Training Day” meets “Point Break” meets “Johnny Mneumonic”. BAM! Of course, we’re talking a really poor man’s “Training Day”. Like, no checking account poor. But it will have the same feel nonetheless (the director actually wrote “Training Day”). On top of that, we’re definitely getting the vibe that you’re in for equal parts “Point Break”-ish Keanu awesomeness and “Johnny Mneumonic” all around sucktitude.

“Quicks? Not quick enough.” GD, you’ve gotta love Keanu. We would have zero desire to see this flick if he wasn’t in it. Dude just wants so bad to be taken seriously and in doing so continues to perpetuate what’s great about him: he’s everyone’s favorite bad actor. It’s like drinking ten more beers to prove you’re not an alcoholic. Speaking of which…

Drunk Casting. Nothing quite like the perfect blend of accomplished actors — Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie — and a bunch of no-talent ass clowns — Cedric the Entertainer, the meathead from the “Fantastic 4″ movies — to round out the supporting cast.

Is Common the new Ice Cube or the new LL Cool J? Or are both of those insults? How about the new Ice-T? Yeah, that’s an insult too. Shit, hope he doesn’t check the site today.

When to see it: Probably worth a rental within the first two months it’s out on DVD. If you’ve got a slow weekend ahead of you and aren’t into golf, spring football scrimmages, or beers, we suggest getting stoned, hitting the theater, and sitting in eager anticipation of Keanu’s, “I’m going to ask him some questions, then we’re going to kill him,” line.

Here at NextRound we’re so confident in our movie judgment abilities we can tell you whether or not an upcoming movie is going to be any good based solely on its trailer. Our ability to do this may or may not be related to our inability to score passes to movie screenings. Regardless, this route is more our speed.

First up: “Leatherheads”! Releasing April 4th. Starring George Clooney, Renee Zellweger, and Jim from “The Office”.

Here’s the trailer:

And now here’s our breakdown…

Football in movies is a good thing. Maybe even a better thing in it’s most primitive form.

Clooney the actor. Do the math and you’ll find 70% of George Clooney movies are in the “good” to “really fucking good” range. You have to like those odds. Plus, “Leatherheads” feels very akin to arguably the best movie Clooney ever made: “O Brother, Where Art Thou?”. There’s no denying the dude thrives in throw back roles where his primary job is to deadpan lines like, “You’re the injured party.”

Jim from “The Office”. We hear “the next Tom Hanks” line used often when referring to slightly goofy but really likeable actors. Well, since there seems to be a competition, we’re casting our lot with John Krasinski as the next Hanks. We like the guy and think “Leatherheads” could be his jumping off point to a solid feature film career. (Note: Unless we find out he talked Mandy Moore into the reverse degrader in her trailer during filming, we’re going to pretend that flick he did with Robin Williams never happened).

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