It’s that time of year again. Maxim Magazine has released their Top 100 list.

We really wanted to pretend it was so irrelevant it didn’t deserve commentary this year, we really did. But when something is just so ridiculously ludicrous yet still gets quoted and written up like it’s credible we find it too frustrating to turn a blind eye. Especially when the subject in question is pretty ladies.

You know how we know a list ranking the 100 Hottest Chicks in the World sucks? When we scan over said list and come to the conclusion we’d only have consensual sex with 50% of them. That’s how.

Apparently the sole qualifications to make the Maxim 100 are:

• Having a PR rep
• Having lady parts (not entirely conclusive)
• Having had People magazine print your name in the last 15 years

That’s it. Keeping that in mind, here’s this year’s top ten:

10. Ashley Tisdale. Who the fuck is Ashley Tisdale?

9. Lindsay Lohan. Nothing says upper echelon hotness like a coke-whoring nympho with high standards.

8. Christina Aguilera. Yeah, we just double checked our calendar again to. It really is 2008.

7. Eva Mendes. We were to understand being over 30 was some sort of top ten disqualification.

6. Elisha Cuthbert. How do we like our ladies? You guessed it. Run through by three-quarters of the NHL.

5. Sarah Michelle Gellar. Two days ago we would have bet you a thousand dollars she died in ‘05.

4. Eva Longoria. Holy shit. This list is so cutting edge. It. Is. Blowing. Our. Mind.

3. Jessica Biel. 2006 called…

2. Scarlett Johansson. They just hit redial…

1. Marissa Miller. Even our moms know who Marissa is now.

Nice insight, Maxim. Isn’t the point of publishing a magazine to tune your audience into things they might not be aware of? Outside of Ashley Tisdale (who the fuck is Ashley Tisdale?) we can make a compelling argument that every chick in the top ten is past their prime. Their bangability prime anyway.

Sarah Michelle Gellar? #5? You fucking serious? No bullshit? Does Freddie Prinze Jr. have naked photos of some of your editors at a highway rest area? We can’t think of another explanation.

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Lots of places compile lists. Luckily, we’re here to deflate them.

Yahoo! Movies just released a Top 10 Most Anticipated Movies of 2008 list. Yahoo! is apparently in bed with some studios and the payoff cash is going to help them hit their bottom line. This list is fucking terrible. Larry the Cable Guy must not have any projects due out in 2008, because there’s no way he would have been left off this list.

Yahoo’s 10 Most Anticipated Movies of 2008 (in order of release)

• “Cloverfield”
• “Rambo”
• “Horton Hears a Who”
• “Iron Man”
• “Speed Racer”
• “Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”
• “Sex and the City”
• “Wall-E”
• “Wanted”
• “The Dark Knight”

Our Initial Reaction: A ten year old kid and his mom compiled this list. A creepy uncle that’s a little too into Second Life may have thrown out a suggestion or two.

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