We’re running a bit behind this morning. There was a Charmed marathon on cable last night and man did we get sucked in. Just kidding. We watched the Gators win the championship just like everyone else, hence the photo of our girl on the side in UF apparel. More on that later.

The Morning Distraction:

8 Common Resume Mistakes. “I accidentally invented AIDS”. [Holy Taco]

Howie Long’s other son got DUI, his mom’s genes. [Busted Coverage]

A random hot Asian chick to help get you through the morning. [Hollywoodtuna]

20 Hilarious Newspaper Clippings. [Yep Yep]

10 Porn Stars Who Twitter. [CO-ED]

Lucy Pinder still hates clothes (NSFW). [On 205th]

The 20 Funniest Will Ferrell Moments of All Time. [Manofest]

7 Sequels That Need to Be Made. [Spike]

If Movie Promos Were Honest (video). [Film Drunk]

And Michael Crabtree is heading to the league. [FanHouse]

Trust us on this one: Never photograph a kangaroo without his permission (via Funny Junk).

Did ESPN’s basketball announcer switcharoo blow anyone else’s fucking mind last night? Van Gundy talking college basketball? Wha-wha?

Maybe FOX will follow suit and bring the Gameday guys in for tonight’s coverage. Then we wouldn’t have to watch the national championship game on mute with The Best of Chumbawumba on in the background. Take Florida giving the points by the way.

The Morning Distraction:

The truthful version of the Carl’s Jr. Pastrami Burger ad is way awesome. [Holy Taco]

John Smoltz closing in on deal with Red Sox. Wants to party with Papelbon. [ESPN]

Chilean dude disguises his girlfriend as his grandma to pull of the perfect crime. [Yahoo]

Olivia Munn went on vacation, took some pictures. [Beer Goggler]

We doubt people often accuse Woody Harrelson of “outkicking his coverage”. [BOH]

We really want to party with the pig man. Is that weird? [Afrojacks]

This bit on Eli Manning’s wife is worth it for the picture alone. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Does Mickey Rourke as the villain in Iron Man 2 sound kick ass to anyone else? [THR]

Larry Flynt wouldn’t mind some of that bailout cash either. [Banned in Hollywood]

Sucks when a 7.9 earthquake hits while your taking your wedding photos. [Yep Yep]

Run over mob boss’ son = dropped in vat of acid. [NY Post]

And Harvard could definitely beat North Carolina at hoops. [FanHouse]

The Morning Distraction:

Tulsa won that bowl game you missed while watching Biggest Loser. [Yahoo]

If George Bush Had a Comic Book. These are classic. [Holy Taco]

Spear to the groin sucks as much as you think it would. [With Leather]

The Ladies Edition of video game “Call of Duty”. [Blog of Hilarity]

Hard-hitting, in depth analysis of the muffin top. [Regretful Morning]

Alyssa Milano got engaged to a sports agent. His client base tripled in an hour. [Deadspin]

12 Signs You Need to Go on a Diet. [Banned in Hollywood]

Jagodzinski tells BC AD to put his money where his mouth is. [FanHouse]

The Best Cartoon Intros of the 90’s (videos). [Ice Ice Babies]

Tron 2: The Sequel officially greenlit. Temper your erections. [THR]

And the funniest logo design fail we’ve seen in a while. [Funny Junk]

So Ohio State lost a BCS game. Sounds familiar. Kudos to the Buckeyes for not rolling over though. College football is about moral victories anyway. And free athletic gear.

Besides, we all know what we were really supposed to take away from last night’s game. Yep, that each and every one of us would obliterate Colt McCoy’s girlfriend if given the opportunity (more pics over at BC). Man, that goofy bastard sure does have a lot going for him. 

The Morning Distraction:

12 Calendars No One Would Ever Purchase. Alba/Carrot Top is classic. [Holy Taco]

Topless coffee shops coming soon to Maine. We knew that state rocked. [Yahoo]

This chick is way hotter than the chicks we play croquet with. [Beer Goggler]

Gatorade is going through a bit of a makeover. [Cuzoogle]

The World Champion of Beer Pong Has Been Crowned. [Tasty Booze]

Child stars who made it to college. All the others now have meth habits. [College OTR]

Parked Car vs. Sledding Girl video. Guess who wins? [Regretful Morning]

Quick reminder of how hot Laetitia Casta is. [Salty Milk]

A-Rod is pretty much the celebrity Lover Boy. Old ladies love extra anchovies. [Page Six]

And no more free beer at Busch Gardens. Talk about some bullshit. [SLBJ]

It’s 2009 and we’ve yet to see a flying car. But outside of that disappointment we’re pretty excited. We spent most of 2008 figuring out what we want NextRound to be and going forward we’re just going to concentrate on being awesome (and maybe making some money).

That means more dick jokes, more photo essays, more nut shots, more baseless celebrity bashing, more drunk athletes, and coming up with even more creative ways to incorporate “Poundtown” into just about every post. We hope you’re up for it. (Picture via Yep Yep.)

The Morning Distraction:

Tremendous list of 2009 drinking goals. “Sit in on an A.A. meeting”. [Tasty Booze]

One ACC game in and UNC loses to Boston College. Kind of anticlimactic. [Yahoo]

Speaking of BC, they’re going to fire their coach if he interviews with the Jets. [ESPN]

Kristin Cavallari hits the beach for first time in ‘09. [Celebridiot]

Arizona’s touchdown celebration could have gone a bit less gay. [World of Isaac]

Just another reason it’s good to be Prince Harry (hint: hot poa). [Epic Carnival]

New Nintendo Wii kid giving the 64 kids a run for their money (video). [Yep Yep]

For all the Kate Bosworth fans out there. [On 205th]

Bills’ Ko Simpson arrested in S. Carolina, has high opinion of his net worth. [FanHouse]

Clint Eastwood is pretty sure you’re a pussy. [Film Drunk]

The Rey Maualuga/Erin Andrews video you’ve been hearing about. [Busted Coverage]

And Bar Rafaeli to help get you through the first Monday of ‘09. [Beer Goggler]

Two days away from Santa! If you were naughty this year we suggest leaving an escort along with milk and cookies. Always seems to do the trick.

Sort of Sports Update:

• Somehow the Bears defied the Bobby Wade prediction, beat the Pack in OT. [ESPN]
• Deadspin reviews the year that was in cheerleading. [Deadspin]
• Finally, video of the Hoff singing the national anthem. Merry Christmas! [Angry T]

Stuff We Like:

• How to Score at Your Company Christmas Party. [Holy Taco]
• Brad Pitt and Vin Diesel do Thundercats (weird yet awesome video). [Film Drunk]
• Pictures of people using Santa as an excuse to party. [Uncoached]

Things Got Weird:

• Lonely German dude jumped in polar bear’s cage with leg of beef. [Yahoo]
• The troops in Iraq get to drink up to 2 whole beers during the Super Bowl. [About]

Assorted Pretty Ladies:

• Almundena Fernandez wishes you Feliz Navidad. [Salty Milk]
• Hilary Duff surprisingly bonerific in Maxim. [Pick Me Up]
• Stephanie Seymour seems to be holding up alright. [Don Chavez]

Going to be a light week this week with all the holiday hours and eggnog and re-gifting. Times are tough in cities across the country, so remember to do your part and contribute to the local strip club when home for the holidays.

Check out pretty much every sexy holiday picture ever taken at Gunaxin.

Stuff We Like:

• If Alcohol Labels Were More Realistic. [Holy Taco]
• Adam Sandler has been outkicking his coverage in movies since 1995. [Boosh]
• 9 Impossible Phrases to Say While Drunk. Dead on w/ the kabobs. [Tasty Booze]
• Sorority Girls in Santa Hats. Fish in a barrel. Fish. In. A. Barrel. [College OTR]

Sort of Sports Update:

• Giants beat the Panthers in overtime. Here’s your updated playoff picture. [ESPN]
• Did you see Jeff Garcia get his nose busted? [Awful Announcing]
• Lendale White kept it classy in yesterday’s win. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Things Got Weird:

• Australia nurses finding prostitution more lucrative than nursing. [News.com.au]
• TX bus driver pulls knife on sixth graders over cookie crumbs on bus. [Chron.com]
• Old health education books had a pretty simplistic view on male emotions. [BOH]

Assorted Pretty Ladies:

• These two chicks probably have the best shot of reviving boxing (NSFW). [BBI]
• Marissa Miller posed for a Spanish magazine. Looked hot. [Beer Goggler]
• Remember Playboy’s Miss May ‘06. No? Us either, but she was a fox. [Uncoached]

You were supposed to tell grandpa he couldn’t bring the gimp to this year’s photo.

Stuff We Like:

• 8 Guinness World Record Attempts That Failed Hilariously. [Cracked]
• Fat guy on a moped will get your weekend here even faster (video). [BIH]
• 50 Women Who Wowed in 2008. That’s a lot of chicks. [CO-ED]

Sort of Sports Update:

• The anatomy of the Erin Andrews sex scandal rumor. Good stuff. [Deadspin]
• Steve Nash figured out a way to be awesome even in a PSA (video). [With Leather]
• Brandon Roy wanted to remind you he’s awesome. [ESPN]

Things Got Weird:

• Quite possibly the worst church sign failure ever. [Tasty Booze]
• Couple welcomes their 18th kid into the world. Yep, they live in Arkansas. [Yahoo]
• Chinese dude manages to get run over twice crossing the street (video). [Attuworld]

Assorted Pretty Ladies:

• Danielle Lloyd’s teacher outfit probably breaks some sort of school code. [BBI]
• We will always link to our girl Krystal Forscutt. [Beer Goggler]
• And WWE Divas in Christmas outfits. These chicks love to dress up. [Hollywoodtuna]

We have to agree with the 3rd grader. From our experience hores do love carrots (photo via Afrojacks). 

Stuff We Like:

• What the advertisement to your favorite energy bar should really say. [Holy Taco]
• The Danny Trejo clothing line is every bit as awesome as we imagined. [Film Drunk]
• Oregon Ducks cheerleaders know how to party. [Uncoached]

Sort of Sports Update:

• Sam Bradford’s girlfriend finally exposed. Beginning to think he liked dudes. [CO-ED]
• Did Michael Phelps’s stoned ass trash a hotel room? [College OTR]
• Chris Paul sets steals record, tells Parker to go back to France (not really). [ESPN]

Things Got Weird:

• Tom Cruise read a top ten list on Letterman. It was awkward. [WWTDD]
• Fast food worker tells bumbling robber to get a job. [Yahoo]
• Japanese stunned to find college students smoke pot. [Reuters]

Assorted Pretty Ladies:

• Iceland may be bankrupt but Miss Iceland is looking strong. [Gunaxin]
• Karina Flores is not bad to wake up to. [Salty Milk]
• And the 10 Hottest Women Named Jessica. [Ooglesites]

Kind of hard to believe Mike Tyson is still in better shape then you are, huh? 

Sort of Sports Update:

• The Pro Bowl rosters are out! If you care. Which you probably don’t. [NFL.com]
• The many, many reasons to hate Steelers fans. Chart included. [KSK]
• EDSBS takes on Mel Kiper in awesome fashion. [EDSBS]

Stuff We Like:

• Flight of the Conchords Season 2 Online Premiere. Full episode. [Funny or Die]
• Histories 10 Most Important Mustaches. Selleck is way low in our opinion. [Spike]
• The 6 Most Self Absorbed Celebrity Dads. [Holy Taco]

Things Got Weird:

• Two Wisconsin brothers bowled simultaneous perfect games. [Yahoo]
• Michael Jackson does his best Zorro impersonation. VERY discreet. [Attuworld]
• Judge orders new murder trial for defendant with shitty lawyer. [TB.com]

Assorted Pretty Ladies:

• Nicola McLean is Santa’s most well endowed helper. [Celebridiot]
• Hef’s new girl didn’t bring many clothes to the red carpet (NSFW). [Stepfather]
• Is there a Brazilian chick who doesn’t look good in a two piece? [BBI]