Pretty good game last night, huh? Oh, you live on the East Coast and fell asleep in the third quarter? That sucks. Maybe you’ll have more success watching Game 2…which is over two days away…on Sunday…also at 9PM.

Nice to know the NBA is capitalizing on the excitement. With an eternity between games here are few things that could happen before Game 2 tips off:

• Paul Pierce could give up basketball to pursue a career as a faith healer.

• Axl Rose could release Chinese Democracy.

• Your last girlfriend could finally realize that she really did drive you to cheat on her.

• OJ could find the real killer.

• You could start that gym routine.

• Nikki Cox could get hot again.

• That hot chick in your office could forget about the time you farted when you thought you were alone in the break room.

• Ray Allen could drop below Wally Szczerbiak in NBA foot speed.

• James Shields could land a punch.

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We mentioned yesterday that the Wynn Vegas was considering pressing charges against Charles Barkley over four hundred thousand dollars in unpaid markers from last October. Since then Barkley has made a statement that it was his mistake and he’s paying the Wynn ASAP. With this cleared up, Barkley can now concentrate on paying down a few other debts he has outstanding:

100K to Dick Bavetta. For throwing the foot race at the ‘07 All-Star Game so Barkley could maintain his rep of being only a moderate fat ass.

300K to Dwyane Wade. For a bet over whether Dwyane was dog enough to bang Star Jones. Barkley was pretty damn confident Dwyane didn’t have it in him. He was wrong.

50K to the City of Philadelphia. For unpaid parking tickets. Barkley is still adamant that at least half the handicapped citizens of Philly are “fake cripples”.

3K to the guy working the counter at Krispy Kreme. For a bet over whether Charles could finish a dozen Hot ‘n Nows in two minutes. Chuck made it to ten before inducing a diabetic coma.

250K to Patrick Ewing. For leaving Charles’s name out of the Gold Club investigation despite Charles getting at least seven handies in that joint.

John Daly actually owes Barkley money.

15K to Gnarls Barkley. For even further expanding his awesomeness.
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