While all eyes in the horseracing world are fixed on the Breeders Cup Final this weekend, a proud few of us will be watching Palace on a Lake run in the 6^th race 2PM this Saturday at Philadelphia Park. Palace starts from the 1 position, which JB has informed me is a good thing, despite most horse racing handicappers feeling the exact opposite. Lucky for me I never argue with JB’s logic.

Since I have nothing better to do with my life I will most likely be at the race. If you want to watch you can catch it on either espn.com or philadelphiapark.com.

In the 4th race at Philadelphia Park yesterday, Palace on a Lake broke well from the #2  position and settled into third place. As they made the turn Palace was nestled to the inside of the two leaders while still running third. At this point our jockey let her ease into the lead because the pace was just too slow for her. She didn’t even make a move to get there; she just picked a slightly more demanding pace than the rest of the field could run.When the horses hit the top of the stretch Palace veered towards the rail and slightly bumped into it. This slowed her down quite a bit and she was passed by the #9 horse, Palace’s only competition down the stretch. Palace tried to dig in to rally past #9 but she was beaten by about 2 lengths to finish second.

Palace looked comfortable and relaxed the whole race. She actually looked like a legitimate race horse who knew what it was doing. We thought we had this one in the bag when she hit the back stretch in the lead but as usual something went a little wrong.

The trainer thinks she needs work making the final turn and running straight for home because Palace has shown a tendency to veer towards the rail. Hopefully this is a correctable problem and Palace will end up in the winner’s circle sooner rather than later, but either way as long as this filly keeps paying her own expenses the Team Cool & Tough Racing stable won’t be complaining.

We couldn’t make this shit up if we tried.

Palace was exhausted after her last race when her jockey forced her to break out to an early lead leaving no gas in the tank for the back stretch. After the race the trainer initially felt we should wait until October before we sent her back to the track.

Well, apparently the trainer changed his tune when Palace tried to bite him the day after the race. Yeah, that’s right. Our horse tried to bite our trainer. She’s kind of a bitch like that. But that’s why we love her. The trainer wanted her to chill for a few days, but Palace made it abundantly clear she wants to run. She’s been feisty all day every day so our trainer figured we might as well run her while she wants to work.

Today, Philadelphia Park. 4^th Race. Post Time 1:38 PM. Today might be the day she becomes a winner.

2PM Update: Palace finished second. More tomorrow. 

Palace ran her fourth race yesterday. She took on the boys, just to prove she’s nobody’s bitch.

She started from the far outside in the nine hole and broke well from the gate for the first time in her career. She easily cleared the log jam of horses that were to the inside of her and made her way to the front of the pack.

At that point we would have liked to see her settle in at a comfortable pace stalking the leaders. Palace’s strength as a horse is her finishing kick. Everybody knows this. Everybody except apparently our jockey. Despite being instructed before the race to stalk the leaders and let Palace pour on the speed down the back stretch, our donkey nuts of a Jockey decided to go to the lead.

Palace held the lead until the final turn when the #4 horse passed her like she was standing still. Palace tried to fight on but the #4 horse was not going to be caught. Palace had nothing left by the time she reached the back stretch, but she showed a lot of heart not giving up. She hung on to finish 3^rd and in the money, which — considering the fact that our jockey miscalculated the race worse than Booth miscalculated his ability to eat nuggets — made us feel pretty good about her performance.

Immediately after the race the guys at Westpoint assured us that we would be making a jockey switch before her next run. If you’re interested we attached the trainer’s comments about the race:

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Palace runs today, bitches! For our hardcore readers interested in the interworkings of our horse racing venture, here’s a sample of our direct correspondence with Westpoint Thoroughbreds to provide a little extra insight.

Glossary of Terms:

• Lupe: Our Trainer’s Name
• Furlong: 1/8 of miles
• Turf: Grass track
• MSW: Maiden Special Weight
• Maiden: Horse that hasn’t won a race yet
• Scratch: Drop out of the race
• Ship: Travel to another track (kind of like an away game)

Email sent on Saturday:

“Lupe entered Palace On A Lake in a 7.5 furlong MSW on the turf on Monday, September 8th at Philadelphia. The race is against the boys, but Lupe decided to enter her for a few reasons. Philadelphia is expected to get 3-5 inches of rain tomorrow and Sunday morning. If so, the race will likely come off the turf and be run at a mile on the dirt. Second, Lupe liked the added distance. Third, Palace has trained very well. Finally, if the race came up too tough then we could scratch and wait for the five-furlong turf race on Tuesday at Delaware.

“However, Lupe has handicapped the race and we are running Monday whether the race stays on the turf or not. Lupe said the field is very weak, and Palace On A Lake is doing very well. He also likes that we will not have to ship. Despite having to face the boys he really likes the spot for her and she is ready to run.”

Translation: Get your bets in. Luck will be a lady at 1:38 this afternoon.

Afternoon update: Palace finished 3rd after breaking to the lead for much of the race then losing some steam at the end. By “get your bets” in, we obviously meant bets for Palace to show. 

This past Saturday I got talked into participating in a basketball tournament. It required me to play 6 three on three games in one day. I am in terrible shape, so needless to say I was pretty much a paraplegic Sunday morning. That coupled with being violently hungover did not make for a good start to my week. But don’t worry, things got worse.

When I got to work on Monday I was told that I have to go to Kentucky on business in a couple of weeks. The problem is I have no desire to go to Kentucky and I’m scheduled to be in Atlanta the weekend before the trip. This leaves me 2 options:

1) Fly home on Sunday as scheduled, hang out in the airport food court for several hours, and then catch the flight to Kentucky.

2) Stay in Atlanta and fly directly to Kentucky early Monday morning.

Option 2 clearly makes the most sense. The problem is if I fly directly from Atlanta to Kentucky I have to personally pay the $380 difference between the flight from Atlanta to Kentucky and the flight from where I live to Kentucky.

So essentially I either have to shell out 400 bucks of my own hard earned money to go to Kentucky OR I have to spend all day Sunday flying around the country to go to Kentucky. Both ways suck and I end up in Kentucky.

Yesterday could have easily become the second time I got fired from a job. I was livid my company wouldn’t shell out a measly $380 for my convenience. While I was deciding whether or not I want to lose my job over this Kentucky trip I received a call to my cell that I didn’t answer. It turns out the guys from Westpoint Thoroughbreds were trying to reach me to let me know that Palace on a Lake was entered into a race yesterday (Monday, August 11th) instead of today (Tuesday, August 12th).

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Palace on a Lake ran in the 6th race at Philadelphia Park on Sunday. It was eventful.Palace is known for being a skiddish horse. Before her first race she freaked out on her way to the starting gate and took off like an escaped convict through an unlocked door. Her behavior actually delayed that race a couple minutes while the rodeo clowns corralled her.

The guys at Westpoint blamed those antics on “1^st race jitters”, so this time out we were pretty excited when she went straight to the gate and didn’t waste a bunch of extra energy running around in circles like JB in a Vegas strip club. But, as usual, that is not the end of the story.

While Palace sat patiently in her gate, some 99 to 1 horse refused to get in theirs. It took about 2 minutes to get the stupid donkey loaded. I was begging for them to just off the thing but apparently that’s not kosher.

The race finally started but unfortunately nobody told Palace. She broke terribly and immediately fell to the back of the pack. Palace was dead last as they rounded the first turn. All I could think about was how I was going to need to change my cell phone number to avoid the Team C&T verbal lynch mob.

As the horses rounded the back stretch I had a funny feeling this race was going to end like everything else in my life: badly. But just as all hope was lost, the announcer claimed that “Palace on a Lake is coming on from the outside.” Huh?

Palace suddenly remembered she is a horse and this was a race and she rallied hard from the back of the pack.

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After waiting over a year to get Palace on a Lake on the track we only had to wait a couple weeks for her second race.Palace will be racing in the 6^th Race at Philadelphia Park this Sunday, July 13th. Post time is 2:30PM. If you want to watch the race it may be on DIRECTV channel 602 or you can go to philadelphiapark.com.

SMac and I will be in attendance for this one, bringing a level of awesomeness to the City of Brotherly Love that it hasn’t seen in some time. That pretty much guarantees work will suck balls on Monday, which is kind of ironic because we’ll most likely be working next week solely to make up for the amount of money we lose on Sunday. Alright, maybe I’m only talking about myself, but I guarantee that at the very least SMac will sit shotgun for the self destruction.

So if you’ve been looking for a reason to be a degenerate on a Summer Sunday afternoon, now you have an excuse.

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Palace on a Lake finished a respectable 4th place yesterday in the 6th race at Delaware Park. And yes, there were more than 4 horses.

She of course managed to lose all our wagers in ironic fashion by finishing one spot out of the money, but it was an overall net gain for the good guys since she did win some prize money, enough to keep her in oats for a while, especially since she’s anorexic.

The race itself was an overall good experience. She broke well. Unfortunately, all the early speed was surrounding her right out of the gate. By the time Palace made it to the first turn she was getting squeezed from both sides (don’t think thoughts like that about our horse). She abruptly slowed her pace for a split second and fell back in the pack, which cost her valuable ground. The jockey quickly repositioned and she found her form again. Once she saw a little daylight she turned on the afterburners and closed impressively. She ran down the leaders rather easily but just ran out of time.

I’m still a little shaken by how much her first race mimicked me in the bedroom.

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After a year of horse ownership, Team Cool & Tough’s very own filly, Palace on a Lake, will run today.

I’m trying to make that sound as definite as possible seeing that the last time she was scheduled to race the trainer scratched her due to morning sickness (or a head cold or something equally lame), and then from there he decided to send her on a six month vacation to Florida so she could “learn how to be a horse again.”

(Editor’s Note: In case you’re new to the site and the trials and tribulations of Palace on a Lake we recommend visiting this portion of our archives and starting at the bottom.)

I still don’t understand how a horse forgets it is a horse. The whole thing is perplexing. Are horses like middle school kids that go through identity crises? Was our Palace going through a rebellious Goth stage? Hard to say.

Regardless, as long as she takes her cold medicine, Palace will be running today, July 1st, 2008, in the 6th race at Delaware Park. Post time for the race is 3PM EST. She will start from the 10 position.

If you want to watch the race go to ESPN.com, then:

• Click on the OTHER link along the top of the site.
• Select HORSE RACING from the drop down list.
• Click on LIVE RACING along the top of the horse racing page.
• Click on DELAWARE on the left side.

The overnight line on Palace is 10/1.

Does that read like “Cha-ching! Cha-ching!” to anyone else?

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