How exhilarating were those two BCS games last night, huh? It sure was awesome to see top notch teams playing such high caliber football against one another, wasn’t it?

For our money it just doesn’t get any better than a Pete Carroll / Ron Zook coaching matchup. Or a JV offensive line versus a SEC defense for that matter. Another sweeping victory for the BCS.

Look, even your grandmother bitches and moans about the BCS. Everyone knows it sucks. Google the subject and you’ll find a million sites offering their opinion on the system’s ineptitude. But it’s not changing, so whatever. We’re not going to bitch and moan about it.

What we are going to bitch and moan about are the crotchety old bastards that run the Rose Bowl. These blazer-wearing, cigar-smoking, old money assholes are killing our bowl watching experience by continually pitting Pac 10 and Big 10 teams against each other in the Rose Bowl. They blatantly care more about staging a kick ass parade than a kick ass football game. And as far as we’re concerned there is no room for that mentality in America. Move to Europe if you want to prioritize like that.

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Did you see the crazy fucking look in Josh Beckett’s eyes last night?

Was there ever any doubt he was going to violate the Rockies? How about mowing down the first three batters like he stumbled onto the mound at a JV batting practice?

We’re pretty sure Beckett doesn’t play for the Red Sox, he plays for Josh Beckett. Zero chance in hell Josh Beckett was losing last night. It was Sunday. He was Tiger, the Rockies were Rory Sabbatini. That simple.

Moral of the story is: Pray to God Josh Beckett never wants anything of yours. Your girlfriend, your job, your wife, your kids, your bank account numbers, your manhood, your DVD collection. Because that son of a bitch will swoop in and take it.

We’re starting to feel bad for what may happen to Kenny Lofton in the future, and for the damage that was most likely done to this chick in the past:

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We are of the mind that Cornrows are the black equivalent to the white man’s Mullet. Let it sink in for a second and you’ll see the validity of the argument.

The Mullet plateaued in popularity in the mid to late 80’s, took an additional five years to exit pop culture entirely, and now is the source of depthless humor and efficient white trash identification.

Cornrows, in comparison, peaked in the late 90’s to early 2000’s and are currently making their exist from mainstream popularity. Case in point, Brad Miller now rocks Cornrows (as evidenced in last night’s preseason game).

We would like to be the first on record to site the below video and the existence of Kevin Federline as the two primary catalysts towards the death of Cornrows amongst respectable brothers everywhere.

We want to like Lebron. We really do. We want him to be the 21st Century’s Basketball Jesus. But, alas, we’re beginning to come to the conclusion that he suffers from MLS (Matt Leinart Syndrome).

Matt Leinart Syndrome (MLS)

–noun Pathology.

a unique disorder where a famous entertainer/athlete possesses all outward qualities required to be extremely likeable, yet squanders these qualities by regularly acting like a douchebag.

We just got wind of this shit about Lebron being a Yankee’s fan and publicly announcing to the city of Cleveland that he’ll be rooting for New York in the Yankees/Indians series. What a jackass.

Aside from the multitude of geographical and philosophical reasons for Lebron not to be a Yankees fan, and aside from the fact that being a Yankees fan is the most unoriginal stance in sports, and aside from how egotistical and unwarranted it is to announce your Yankees affiliation before Game 1, Lebron simply cannot publicly root for the Yankees because HE IS CLEVELAND SPORTS.

He has to know his role.

Couple this debacle with the idiotic monstrosity of a house he’s currently building in Cleveland, and that he bites his fingernails, and that he hosted the ESPYs, we’re seriously considering taking an anti-Lebron stance in the near future.

If we find out he’s friends with Ashton Kutcher it’s official.

We just read the report on Page Six about the Kid Rock / Tommy Lee slap fight that ensued after Pam Anderson presented an award at the VMAs last night.

There are just so many lame things in that last sentence we don’t know where to begin our ridicule. But we’ll do our best…

First, everyone we just mentioned is ancient. You take that and the fact that the VMAs are lame by most reasonable eighteen year-olds standards, and you’ve got three washed up D-listers attending a mock award show trying to do every pathetic thing imaginable to garner any sort of attention for themselves. Truly awesome. We’d go as far as to suggest the whole fight was a staged PR move if we weren’t extremely confident that everyone involved is too stupid to think it up.

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So Zach Braff is catching all this hype for being some big womanizer lately and we are entirely unimpressed. 

From what we can gather the “Zach Braff is the new James Caan” hysteria began because a little infidelity on his part led to his break up with Mandy Moore (who we still kind of dig even though she’s going through a bit of a dumpy period). 

After the break up Braff began his current lifestyle, which involves shacking up here and there with chicks we feel like we’d have a fairly competitive shot at. Yet the press portrays it like this dude has been filleting three Penthouse Pets a night.

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Just in case you were wondering what are stance is on unjustifiably popular disco/pop bands featuring 100 lb. lead singers with god complexes, here it is: we think they suck.

We feel it’s a real indictment of today’s mainstream music scene that Maroon 5 is as popular as they are.

Sure, there’s plenty of good music out there today. But only about 5-10% of the population knows about it. Just about everything else is garbage.

But back to Maroon 5. We’ve always thought that their music is gayer than Coldplay and that their lead singer should have been cast for a role on “The Hills”, but we’ve never really had enough angst against them to dedicate an entire post to how much they suck.

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By now just about every website worth its salt in entertainment gossip has floated the above incriminating photo of Anne Hathaway on a yacht with her Eurotrash boyfriend. And from what we’ve gathered about our degenerate readers core audience we assume we don’t have to get into detail on what’s being insinuated.

Regardless of whether these photos are harmless and being taken completely out of context by a bunch of online pervs, we find the yacht shots especially awesome because they further our theory that Anne Hathaway is a bit of a gold digging skeez.

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We can safely say we didn’t see this one coming when woke up this morning, but there’s a fact-laden report rumor swarming around the world wide web that Derek Jeter may have given Jessica Alba a venereal disease when they were dating.

Here’s a hint, it rhymes with herpes.

The juicy piece of gossip comes from a blog called L.A. Rag Mag. Their source is the former personal assistant of Jessica Alba’s ex-fiance. CNN doesn’t get any more credible than that.

But in all seriousness, think about it for a minute. Doesn’t Jeter kind of seem like he might be the kind of dude who’s a little more cavalier than necessary with his case of VD?

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Few chicks have ever baffled us as much as Sienna Miller does. We literally have no idea of what to think of her.

There are just so many differing opinions and so much contradictory information to digest. When we see these reports about her partying with Puff Daddy all the time we get as confused as when we try to figure out A-Rod’s sexual orientation.

Here are the primary questions we find ourselves asking about Sienna:

1) Is she quite the pretty lady (a la “Layer Cake”) OR is she awkward and run down (a la pictures with Puff Daddy)?

2) Is she a good time who likes to party OR is she some smacked up dope fiend?

3) Does she have a nice perky front court (pictured left, also “Layer Cake”) OR could she pass for an out of shape British dude from the neck down?

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