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In honor of College Football Live and dreamy Jesse Palmer reentering my life this week I decided to highlight the top Inter-Conference Games of ‘08. I’ve excluded Ohio State at USC for two reasons: 1) I have made it blatantly clear that I think that the Big Ten should be considered a mid major, and 2) I think we’ll have to choke down enough hype leading to that game without me adding to it.The games I’m highlighting also exclude traditional inter-conference rivalries that occur at the end of the season. Sorry Georgia Tech fans.

6) Illinois v Missouri (St. Louis, MO) August 30th

What Makes This Game Good: Missouri is coming off a solid 12-2 season. They destroyed Arkansas 38-7 in their bowl game. And they return starting QB and Heisman hopeful Chase Daniel, who threw for over 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns last year.

Illinois and the Fighting Zookers went to the Rose Bowl last year. They return QB Juice Williams. He’s more of a threat with his legs than his arm at this point in his career, but the potential for a breakout season though the air still exists.

Need to Know Fact: These teams played last year with Missouri winning 40-34.

Key Matchup: The running back position. Going into this season Missouri loses Tony Temple who ran for over 1,000 yards and 12 TDs and Illinois loses starting RB Rashard Mendenhall who ran for over 1,600 yards and 17 TDs. Which team will get the balance in the run game to help out the guys behind center?

Booth’s Prediction: I think this game comes down to QB play. Missouri.

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This ESPYs promo is a couple weeks old but since we refuse to have anything to do with the ESPYs — outside of mocking them, of course — we’re just getting around to it.

NBC should seriously consider scrapping the Jimmy Fallon idea and hiring Oden to take over for Conan. We’d stay up every night.

WWI. And WWII…School with McCain…Ha. Oden looks old. Self-deprecation is the best.

[H/T: With Leather]

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Anna Rawson is the new biscuit on the LPGA tour. Interestingly enough, she’s also one of the few biscuits on the LPGA tour. She recently did an interview with Oob Golf (via Hot Clicks) and discussed her love for college football, the Korean clique on tour, hiring her hot college roommate to be her caddy, and whether she’d prefer to win an LPGA tournament or make the cover of the SI swimsuit issue.

Did we mention she’s also Australian and part-times as a model? Yeah, we pretty much love her. We’d definitely be willing to not cheat on her for at least a month.

Anna’s Hump Day Bio

Age: 26.

Figure: Athletic, bendy.

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Yesterday news broke that Tim Tebow — citing his Christian values — refused to be part of the Playboy All-American team. We’re pretty sure a lifetime subscription to Cyber Girls doesn’t come with being named to the squad, but whatever, Tebow’s awesome, who are we to judge? Especially when he prefers to meet ladies with gifted front courts all on his own.

The one thing we do know is that just about every other quarterback in college football — merit aside — would have had no problem accepting the honor, especially these guys…

Mark Sanchez, USC. Any dude willing to wear this shirt and let another guy give him the Brokeback stare is open-minded enough to handle Playboy.

Chris Turner, Maryland. His dad was the drummer for Ratt. Ratt! That means his mom probably already has some connection to Playboy.

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Yesterday we mentioned Carson Palmer’s recent comments on a Los Angeles radio show with regards to his dislike for all things Ohio State. In under thirty seconds Palmer managed to trash the Buckeye program, their fans, Jim Tressel, sweater vests, and the ‘Shoe. It was pretty spectacular.

I found his sentiments especially awesome, not because I hate Ohio State fans (I only marginally dislike the few I know), but because Carson has brought to light a dilemma that far too many of us deal with on a day-to-day basis. I’ve coined it The Carson Palmer Predicament. It takes place when you live in an area of the country that rabidly supports a certain college football program that is not the college football program you support. It’s a tortuous existence that sucks the life out of too many good men.

I — for example — live in Atlanta. Dawg Country. And while I had nothing but indifference towards Georgia fans prior to living in Georgia, today I debate stabbing one on a weekly basis. Why? Because they’re everywhere. And they have safety in numbers, which means the societal checks and balances that normally prevent overabundant arrogance no longer applies in this homogeneous environment. People with moronic opinions are way too comfortable in sharing them. It makes things like the newspaper and sports radio constant points of irritation for the few of us who support anyone outside of the local team. It’s kind of like being part of a rebel faction where you can only speak freely in the company of other rebels.

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This year — like every year — we passed on watching the ESPY Awards. We know of better ways to kill braincells. But in the future these ten categories could get us to tune in…

Best Illegitimate Dad - Past winners include the obvious likes of Shawn Kemp, Evander Holyfield, and Travis Henry. Tom Brady and Darren McFadden would have been included in this year’s nominations, igniting a healthy quantity vs. quality debate.

Best ESPN Personality Termination - Recognizing the former ESPN personality the casual sports fan is most thankful to no longer have to endure on the network. Sean Salisbury and Michael Irvin would have headlined this year’s list of nominees. Emmitt Smith should go ahead and make room on his mantle.

Best Womanizing Athlete - AKA the Derek Jeter Award. With the breaking Minka Kelly news we don’t see how Jeter wouldn’t have walked away with the trophy again this year. And to think, six months ago we were under the impression Romo was a serious contender. So sad.

Best Coaching Tirade - Mike Gundy would have been the odds on favorite, but Mark Mangino had serious darkhorse potential (NSFW audio):

Best Performance by an Athlete in an Arrest - Two weeks ago we thought Cedric Benson’s boating performance had this locked up, but Matt Jones and his eight ball made a serious late push.

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Sorry, we have to.

Luckily for you though we have no interest in lamely debating Brett Favre and the Packers. At this point you can wander over to the nearest Vietnamese nail salon and hear that debate. No, we want to bitch about something that we’re more bullshit over than Favre outing himself as whiny narcissist and the Packers doing their best Isiah Thomas impersonation. We want to bitch about ESPN’s unapologetic jocksniffing when it comes to Favre and his legacy.

We’re well versed in the ongoing feud between the mainstream media and the sports blogosphere (we’ve never really given a shit, but we’re still well versed). The primary argument by the blogosphere is that mainstream media has evolved to the point where its members have their own version of celebrity and are for the most part incapable of identifying with the everyday sports fan. It’s a pretty solid argument in a lot of cases, but never has it been more evident than in ESPN’s kit glove handling of the “Favre Legacy” debate.

If we hear one more asshole from the four letter use the Montana and the Chiefs, Namath and the Rams, or Jordan and the Wizards comparison when it comes to Favre and how the public will remember him we’re going to start getting our television sports fix from The Best Damn Sports Show. That’s a fucking promise. We have the will power to make ourselves take John Salley seriously.

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All-Time Claret Jug Make Out Sessions

July 17th, 2008 by NextRound

The British Open starts today and we’re celebrating by mocking one of its time honored traditions: the champion making out with the claret jug.

The time Tiger was on his third date with the jug and tried to get to second base.

The time John Daly pretended he was getting a table dance at Scores.

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What Type Of NCAA ‘09 Player Are You?

July 16th, 2008 by NextRound

EA Sports’ introduction of its NCAA Football game each summer marks a significant milepost indicating that college football season isn’t an unbearable distance away. There are several different types of people who play NCAA ‘09. Which one are you?

I Am My Quarterback Player

  • You benched your school’s starter and created a dynasty with yourself behind center. And why not? You’ve got a laser rocket arm.
  • You prefer to play solo but on occasion you’ll whoop a friend’s ass.
  • Your college football knowledge is limited to what the programmers included in the game.

Needed a Two Week Fix Player

  • NCAA Football is the only reason you own a game system.
  • You’re a college football junkie. Every summer is the same. You finish memorizing preseason magazines just in time to dust off your Playstation and buy NCAA the day it releases.
  • Novice gameplay gets you to August camp and your subscription website takes you home from there.

Alma Mater Player

  • The first thing you do after unwrapping NCAA is set your team’s fight song as the default music.
  • You play with your school and your school only, anything else would be blasphemy.
  • You run a dual quarterback and/or dual running back system just like your coaches will this season. Defensive substitutions are in line with your coordinator’s philosophy.

Multi-Player Only Player

  • You LOVE NCAA Football but think solo play might as well be World of Warcraft.
  • If your friends aren’t around you make your girlfriend play you. And then you skunk her 70-0 to teach her a lesson.

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Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton added to his feel good / Roy Hobbs-esque legend last night by ripping a ridiculous 28 dingers in the first round of the Home Run Derby. He didn’t technically “win” the whole thing, but as far as just about anyone who witnessed the performance of the former heroine addict is concerned, he is the unanimous winner. And with Hamilton stepping into MLB super stardom last night, who needs A-Rod’s participation in the derby? Definitely not Yankees fans. They were busy drinking the Hamilton Kool-aid.

Here are ten reasons Yankees fans already like Josh Hamilton more than A-Rod:

1) Hamilton also came from Texas and it only took him one night to get into a championship round.

2) The only thing A-Rod has ever been addicted to is women who power clean.

3) Hamilton is religious in the conventional sense, not the Kabbalah sense.

4) A-Rod’s only tattoo is a butterfly tramp stamp.

5) Hamilton’s non-alcoholic beer is still way butcher than a sex on the beach.

6) The only reason Hamilton stopped at 28 homers was he couldn’t take the audience having to endure another of Chris Berman’s “Back, back, back, back, backs.”

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