We’ve devised a simple three step plan that should help you turn the NBA draft into a productive Thursday night filled with all the things you love most: drinking, comedy, and ignoring chicks that annoy you.
STEP 1: Self-Induced Hazing
Do you ever feel like you don’t party as hard as you did in college, or even high school? Remember the days of downing warm shots of whatever brown liquor you could steal from your parents’ liquor cabinet?
Well, we have some good news. Tonight the NBA presents an opportunity to revisit your roots and channel your inner awesomeness. The build up to the first pick will focus on debating whether the Bulls should draft Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley, which is completely irrelevant and a waste of your time since the Bulls are 100% taking Rose.
However, you can take full advantage of the endless ramblings by playing a fun drinking game that the 16 year-old inside of you will love. Every time one of those blowhards on the ESPN set says the word “UPSIDE” or homoerotically describes a strapping young college dropout as “LONG”, take a drink.
Keep it up through the first five picks and you’ll experience the most entertaining way to watch guys like Beasley, Mayo, and Gordon get drafted. Stop at that point or you may not wake up in the morning.
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