Petting zoos shouldn’t be entirely about petting and feeding animals. We respect the shit out of a goat who is willing to take some time away from eating tin cans to teach snotty-nosed kids valuable life lessons.

In a world without mommy and daddy you just can’t bend over for extended amounts of time. There will be repercussions. Sure, the kid’s crying today, but ten years from now he’ll feel indebted to that goat.

Four World of Warcraft aficionados wander into a bar. One orders a flaming shot with no idea how to take it. Things get real…

Have four males ever morphed into four middle school girls faster? They must be high level Warcrafters. And can someone find us the address of the guy filming? That dude is begging for a good ass kicking. He won’t like it, but it will do him good in the long run. That whole cruel to be kind thing.

Feeling kind of rough from the weekend? Wishing you hadn’t downed that fifth O-Bomb? Lay down $200 to win $50 on Big Brown? Rethinking whether getting laid was worth having that land monster on your resume?

Well, at least you aren’t the dude:

When Charles Hawes of Lebanon, PA garners that much satisfaction in his mental and moral superiority over you, it’s pretty much time to off yourself.

Thanks to The Angry T for the tremendous find.

Yesterday we removed Google ads from NextRound. Not a big deal since the site’s still in development and we do not plan on using Google as our primary ad network in the future.

Why would we drop internet Wal-Mart from our site you may be wondering. Well, because out of the blue Google changed their opinion of us. We went from sports and movie loving guys’ guys in the eyes of Google bots to pro interracial dating gay men, who or may not be willing to pay for a handjob. Yeah, it got weird.

Our top three advertisers yesterday:

1) MenInLove.com. This is just Google calling us queer. No way around it. Maybe it was that article we wrote about how underappreciated Bette Midler is, or the one outlining our obsession with track lighting. Tough to say what outed us.

2) BBW.com. BBW stands for “Big Beautiful Women” for those of you not in the know. How Google figured out the kind of chicks we end up pillow fighting on a Saturday night is beyond us, but they did it. Must be their satellite technology.

3) InterracialRomance.com. We’re all for people dating whoever the hell they want, but never did we intend for either interracial relations or dating to be a prominent theme of our site. We could have sworn we were going for beer and tits.