She’s a 61 year-old raging liberal actress who was hot in Bull Durham but now kind of looks like a man with huge old lady boobs. With that in mind…would you hit it?

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She’s a 41 year-old Olympian with a butch haircut who is in creepily better shape than you. She may or may not experience regular roid rage. With that in mind…would you hit it?

What? You don’t support your country?

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She’s 40, has pipes that will burst your eardrums, and kind of looks like a dude from a lot of angles. Since she’s less than half a century old we’re going to stipulate that you have to attend her concert in Canada first. With that in mind…would you hit it?

If you need to do some further analysis, these bikini photos should do the trick.

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She’s almost 40, smarter than you, and probably doesn’t score any higher than a DC 6. Since she’s less than half a century old we’re going to stipulate that you have to watch Baby Mama first. So with that in mind…would you hit it?

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She’s almost 40, makes a mean casserole, and her weight fluctuates like Dennis Rodman’s bank account. Since she’s less than half a century old, we’re going to stipulate that you have to listen to her talk for an hour first. So with that in mind…would you hit it?

Tough Choices for a Tough Crowd:

• WYHI?: Priscilla Presley
• Grossest Thing: Mischa or Kim?
• Did She Get It?: Hilary Duff
• Monday Matchup: Heidi or Natalie?
• WYHI?: Kathie Lee Gifford

She’s 62, dancing on television, had far too much work done, and used to bang Elvis. We’re not asking you to give her a foot rub, but be honest, if the opportunity presented itself…would you hit it?

She’s 54, had some work done (new front court?), and is returning to television. We’re not asking you to take a trip downstairs, but be honest with yourself, if the opportunity presented itself…would you hit it?